Siti,Kunoor,Kangling,Shafiq,Nik and Fana;I had an awesomeeee time.maybe the awesomeness can stay a lot longer?;-)
Saturday, 14 November 2009
The Games that Play Us.
Siti,Kunoor,Kangling,Shafiq,Nik and Fana;I had an awesomeeee time.maybe the awesomeness can stay a lot longer?;-)
Sunday, 8 November 2009
meet me halfway.
my apartment finally looks like an apartment (I'm giving it 2-3 days).house chores can be a lot of fun when you have a housemate as clueless as you are,and ready to experiment all sorts of things.like using a glass cleaner on a plastic cloth just so it smells good.Or vacuuming the carpet during nighttime. Who cares anyway?clearly not Me.
and my room feels very homey right now.the walls are covered with a big Beatles posters,Alex Turner,Arctic Monkeys,Manchester United,Nirvana,Radiohead,Chris Martin,Kurt Cobain,Andy Warhol's artwork,and of course,pictures of my C,besties,and family.
And mama and ayah?I don't need their faces on the wall.I can picture them as vivid as ever.
Last week was a total mess.I got tangled up with on/off fever,and a severe stomach cramp.And it didn't help when you have another coursework to pass up.minus 10.
My boys lost at Stamford Bridge.minus 10
My sempoernas were Gone.minus 10.
I'm broke.minus 50.
the Blues played like a bunch of pussies on their home ground. plus 10.
I'm going to start learning how to play Fifa 10,and show you bitches how it's Done!(I'm waiting for you,Shafiq sensei)
Have you ever had the same dream while you're asleep over and over again,and you fell in Love with the dream and refuses to wake up when the sun rises?And when reality checks in,the dream drifts apart,leaving you with such emptiness? what is it with dream,that make us forget the truth?Because truth is still absolute;even when it's hard and cold,and more painful than you can ever imagined. Even when the truth is cruel than any lies you've told.
"can you meet me halfway,right at the borderline?
that's where I'm gonna wait for you.
I'll be looking out; night and day
took my heart to the limit;
this is where I stay."
-Black Eyed Peas-
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
the Fire and the Thud
with Joy came heartbreak.which was of course,a pain in the ass.My team lost to Barca in the Champions League Final in Rome -minus 10.And I ended up crying at Laundry Bar.macam bodoh kan?-minus 5.And Cristiano Ronaldo left and joined Real Madrid-minus 5.as Long as the traitor's happy,I'm half-happy.
And my 500 days of Summer continued with a week trip back to the UK and Michael Jackson's sudden death.MJ's dead for good?!
so summer was long and fun and exciting and euphoric.And it was also excruciating when it came to the part where I was left crippled with No money and No car.sweet mary jane huh?ever heard of a guardian angel?I had one,and it came in the form of my best friend,Sabreena Furzani Mohd Rafee. hahahaha....she was my cling of hope and survival; picking me up from home everyday during that week with just 50 bucks per-day in hand and paid for EVERYTHING that was needed for me to stay,well,alive i guess. food,ciggies,teh-tariks and karaoke.
love you endlessly bena.;-)
dahla,enough about summer.like I said,I had the most confusing yet exciting 500 days of summer Ever.
So now I'm back in Hatfield,this God-forsaken town.
1.Moved into a 2 bedroom apartment;
2.Has a dysfunctional-yet-amazing guy for a flatmate.Fiq,if you ever actually read my blog,you raaaawwwwkkk,I raaawwwkk,we Both Rawwwwkkkk.
3.The Forum;a new club under the administration of my Uni.evil place,good music.
4.Alternative nights-do you ever hear songs by Muse,Blink-182,System of a Down,Lost Prophets,Saosin, etc in a Club before?
5.Indie Nights-Arctic Monkeys,The Kooks.
6.Lectures and tutorials.-what's there to write about?They're boring as ever.
i miss mama and ayah.
i miss mama and ayah.
i miss mama and ayah.
"So that's how we live our lives. no matter how deep and fatal the loss, no matter how important the thing that's stolen from us-that's snatched right out of our hands, even if we are left completely changed with only the outer layer of skin from before, we continue to play our lives this way, in silence.We draw ever nearer to the end of our allotted span of time, bidding it farewell as it trails off behind. Repeating,often adroitly, the endless deeds of the everyday.Leaving behind a feeling of immeasurable emptiness."
-Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart-
[Humbug by Arctic Monkeys & The Resistance by Muse are Freaakishly awessooomeee!]
and I am still a little kid inside.So I dont have any of your answers.will the teasing of the fire be followed by the thud?
Saturday, 16 May 2009
Sunday, 10 May 2009
forever and Almost always.
i hate studying.
and my best friend isn't speaking to me.three cheers for sweet revenge,huh?
i wish for some random Russian billionaire to write my name on his will,thus letting me gain his entire fortune.and i will live blissfully happy,forever and almost always.
not to mention that i dont have to study any longer.
and i can buy Manchester United,having meals all around Europe,fly in the private jet to kl every weekend,visit my best friend in melbourne,take my parents on a yacth next to Johnny Depp's at St. Tropez,live next to Diddy at the Upper East Side.
but here i am,in the library at 3.30 in the morning.
russian billionaire,where art thou?
i will Forever and almost Always; believe that L.I.F.E. is indeed,a Four Letter word.
i dont miss kl as much as i miss my sanity right now.
but i miss my dysfunctional family.
Play for the team,Ronaldo.not just for you.stop the sulkiness;it's childish.and the tantrums on the bench?sweetheart,get over it.you scored a fantastic free-kick,our team won the match,we're still on top of the table,3-points lead over Liverpool with one game in hand.ape lagi yang tak puas hati?hish!and oh,by the way,you're Hot. ;-)
we,United fans, will Forever and almost Always have Faith in our Godfather,Sir Alex Ferguson.Amen.
"Well, it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
kind of turn themselves into knives.
There's no shame in being crazy."
-a beautiful mess,Jason Mraz-
p/s:how can i wish for the End,when the Beginning is just around the corner?
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
Arsenal v Manchester United
Arsenal v Manchester United
Video sent by trexavio
"Que Sera sera,
whatever will be ; will be.
we're Going to Italy,
Que Sera Sera!"
Hello Rome!!
[so take me home,United Road.to the place i belong; to Old Trafford to see United,take me home,United Road!]
Thursday, 30 April 2009
A Letter to God
Friday, 17 April 2009
Problematique.
-Romeo + Juliet-
and you stop sharing altogether.
i did,for countless of time.and i never get bored with it.
but if you are mentally and emotionally OK,i would advice Not To.cause you wouldn't appreciate the movie as much as i do.and you wouldn't understand it very well either.Fight Club is only appropriate for the descendants of the disturb intelligence. (in other words:a total Psycho)
"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time. "
"Only after disaster can we be resurrected."
"Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing."
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. ."
"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.."
-Fight Club-
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
Obsession,Euphoria and United.
that's it.I'm officially losing my mind in this enigmatic obsession over 11 balls dangling on a great,big field,running around in sweats,trying to get a hold of ONE ball and push it into a net.common description of football to certain people
My description:11 skillful,talented and gorgeous boys on a field trying to find the perfect rhythm of a great teamwork; chasing not only a ball but the ball that defines their talents and passions;getting their mission done by kicking the ball into the net; hoping to create a history.
and that's Football for me.
i know.i AM obsessed.
yesterday was the quater-final of the champions league: Manchester Utd vs Porto FC. i was on the train to london,and i found myself dying.literally. i could not breathe;i was asphyxiating.my mind could only focus on the match that was about to start in 45 mins time.we drew 2-2 on home ground for the 1st leg,which gave Porto the advantage of having 2 away goals.and if they actually scored just One goal last night,champions league were a definite Over for the Devils.
i couldn't breathe, i couldn't focus,i couldn't speak without mumbling all my words up.i felt like a sick cat.
and sitting in a train with hundreds of Arsenal fans didn't help much either,when they were jovially confident and absolutely hyper.
why was i so anxious again?well,i tell you why.
i've lost:
1.sony ericsson handphone
2.stationery holder
3.countless days of sleepless nights
4.uncontrollable adrenaline rush
5.severe heartaches & headaches
6.my temper & patience;blowing them off to ppl that matters
7.pride
8.my voice (due to a massive amount of screaming)
9.heat & tiring arguments with fellow football fans
10.tears.
and i've lost all these,for my unhealthy obsession over the ever-great Manchester United.and football.so you could've guess why I felt that way.
but if my team wins?it's a feeling that i cant describe in words.something that only another football maniac would understands,and is secretly shared between me,he/she,and God.[i feel like i need to put God there since you need a little bit of luck in football.]
and watching the team that you despise so much,not able to pull their way into the semis?it's Euphoria.
so MU didnt win the title,Yet.whatever.we're picking our pieces back together.so tunggu je la.
and Liverpool?even if the Devils have not win the champs league yet;hey,at least we're through into the semis.You Didn't. so you can keep benitez with his cheap talks as long as you want,play as many attacking football as you like,praise 'torres and gerrard are the best partnership ever' as many time as you want,sing 'You'll never walk alone' as loud as you can.because the truth is;you're definitely not walking with MU,Barca,Ars and Chels in the semis.
{this entry is dedicated to the Greatest pundit in the world;my best friend,sister,and psycho-screamer.you're waaaaayyy better than shebby lah.you know who you are. ;-) }
{and to my annoying MU best friend, who can tell the difference between utd-Loyalty and unhealthy habit during crucial time, such as the quater finals.i think you know who you are too.hahahaha. }
{ and to all the unknown MU comrades over the world; United we stand. }
-mark twain-
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
Transatlanticism
n." The state of being in a long-distance relationship with another person over the Atlantic Ocean, for example, with one participant living in the United States and the other living in the United Kingdom, along with the emotions that accompany such a state, such as the desire of physical intimacy, melancholy and hope."
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=transatlanticism
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
the Ghost I love the most
even when you wake up someday and realized you've Given Enough.cause the truth is;most of your Favourite Memories are the one you shared with them,and you wouldn't trade that with Anything in the world.
So if things started to change,dig deeper,and dig harder.Because the friend that you used to know your Inside Out is still in there,somewhere.
If Football is a Person and happens to be a Guy, I would run straight into 'His' arms and marry him.
My CR7 (it's Cristiano Ronaldo,to the Clueless), and Rooney scored a goal each during the weekend premier League match against Blackburn.Fantastic freekick was taken by Ronaldo (which went straight inside the goal,Duh),which put the Devils 7 points ahead of Liverpool and still in the running for the consecutive Premier League Cup.
And as I'm writing this post,my Devils were held at San Siro by Jose's Internazionale.Am i delighted,or pissed off?You tell me!
I would Like to dedicate this Entry to my dear friend,Lim Keon Zheng,as he turned 20 on the 24th of Feb 2009. Thanks for being a Great friend,my very own Ryan Seacrest and a Nagger.you know you love me!
And for the first time in my entire lifetime,I missed a crucial Manchester Utd Champions League Match,because it's not everyday your Best friend turns 20,right?
and let's face it; Football IS Life.but Friendship and camaraderie?These are what make Your Life worthwhile.
p/s:out of Nowhere,I dreamt about 'You' last night when I was half-dead battling with stomach cramp.So i guess,'you're' the Ghost I love the Most.
"Oh dear,cant you see?
It's them,it's not me
we're Not enemies;We just Disagree
Is this it?"
-Is this it,The Strokes-
Friday, 20 February 2009
Punchdrunk Lovesick Singalong
Cell phones cant annoy you that much; there is absolutely no reception in the underground. all your problems seem so high above (since you're in the Underground). you're surrounded by wonderful strangers-they just dont give two f**k about your presence. they'll leave you with your thoughts, your anger, your misery, your happiness.
if society needs Prozac to keep them calm, I just need the tube.
"Let's take some time to talk this over
you're out of line and rarely sober
we cant depend on your excuses
cause in the end it's fucking useless
you can only lean on me for so long."
-Man Overboard, Blink 182-
some people just need to Grow Up. quit making empty promises and just move on. Life sucks; it'll get worst every time. But you will always have our back, if you stop acting like a charming delinquent.
The funny part of it all, I love you too much to be freakingly Mad at you.
What's in the bucket for the past few weeks? I finally had Ladies day out. Went out clubbing at Funky Buddha on V-day, although I was barely alive on that day. Being surrounded by the drunken Italians somehow made me realized that I am more patient than I give credit to myself. They were, Annoying. Full stop. Dalam club nak jerit jerit 'Malaysia!Malaysia!'. Yes, I am VERY proud of my country, but ehhh, Pleasseee la. Saya pening.
And there I was, thinking how the hell I spent 19 yrs of my Life drooling over Italian dudes. If those are what they can come out with in Reality, I'll stick to Italian footballers until the end of time. Gianluca Zambrotta, Daniele De Rossi, Andrea Pirlo, Del Piero, Luca Toni. As the matter of fact, the Whole Azzurris would be better. Hey, they might not be within my reach, they sure have style. And class. And did I mention they're just too Irresistible?
To my bestfriends/brothers/comrades/sidekick/gossip-pals. Of all the people I have Here by my side, you know you'll always be the one who keeps me Grounded all the time. Jangan la emo-emo.Drop all your egos and just go back to how things were before this. It felt weird laaaa, not having the 2 of you talking to each other like idiots behind my back. When can I hang out with the 'Saint' and the 'Sinner' just like old days? ;-)
ohhh....saya sangat in Lust dengan classmate 'Tea-Eye' saya. Not in that weird way, of course. He is just too adorable, and looks EXACTLY like Cliff Joseph Harris Jr, i.e. T.I. ok,ok, this obsession with T.I. has got to stop, because it's getting on everybody's nerves already.
The shocking sacking of Scolari (who used to be my Big Daddy). What ever happened to passion & Joga Bonito? Has the world of football is slowly conforming to the current world, where everything is business-like?
I am not a Chelsea fan, just to be clear. Face the fact; you're no longer 'special' after Jose left (you were never special to me anyway). But the departure of one manager after another? What Roman,do you expect a manager to bring miracle to your team in just 6 months? I think with all the recession and the turbulent in present economy made him a little cuckoo, dont you agree? Well Roman, you shouldnt have left your wife and let Mourinho walked away. That arrogant-yet-handsome Portuguese was the best thing that ever happened to Blues.
Last but not least, I would like to dedicate this entry to My Boys. Wonderful job against Fulham; marvelous goals from Berbatov, Rooney and the evergreen Paul Scholes. We're still on top of the table; 5 points lead over Liverpool, and still a clean sheet for Van der Sar. Awak ni terer la. Ihihi. Next stop; San Siro, 24th Feb, Champs League. (pick your team, bena. It's either the Devils or Internazionale)
P/s:thanks for Not being there when you knew I'm in need. Find me when boredom seeks your doorstep again k? Cause I guess that is what I do best.
[hippie-lovin-artist-sweetheart]
Thursday, 19 February 2009
where are you?-16th Dec,2008
And I need You to tell me that these are all lies; truth is just somewhere around the corner.
The wrath that speaks silently. The eyes that wait for the warning sign. The mind that longs for peace. The heart that hides behind the blockade. The state of the mind that grasp nobody else but You.
I need You to tell me that these are all lies; truth is still waiting somewhere around the corner.
I need sleeping pills to get me through the night. I need the city lights to burn out quietly and leave me alone in my misery. I need music to soothe me up, keep me calm and bury all the horror at the back of my head. I need ciggs to get the chilling voices out of my system. I need muses to hold me grounded. I need tears to remind myself that I am capable of any kind of emotions. I need deeper reasons to outweigh all my decisions.
I need You to tell me that these are all lies; truth is just waiting, somewhere around the corner.
Darkness creeps in; slow and tormenting. Was it the voice of disappointment that I heard last night? Was the daunting whisper real, or was it just another trick? Was it all just a dream?
If it is, then where are You?
"a warning sign;
i missed the good part, then i realized
i started looking and the bubble burst
i started looking for excuses.
come on in; i've gotta tell you what a state i'm in
i've gotta tell you in my loudest tones
i started looking for a warning sign.
when the truth is;
I miss you.
yeah, the truth is
I miss you so.
A warning sign,
you came back to haunt me and I realized
that you were an island and I passed you by
you were an island to discover.
so i crawl back into your open arms.."
-Warning sign, Coldplay-
when your little wonderland vanishes and spies come out to play, what do you fall back into?
{You'll be Jack and I'll be Sally}
[hippie-lovin-artist-sweetheart]
Friday, 13 February 2009
St Valentine is Dead,so why Celebrate?
Thursday, 12 February 2009
when dusk meets dawn,boredom knocks on your door.
t.i. will be going to jail on march.[heartbreaking,isnt it?]
my ipod is currently not available till weekend.how do i even live so far?
hatfield is a DEAD town.
i miss mummy.
this winter;its getting toooo bloody cold here.
putera sempoerna.my knight in shining armour.
[hippie-lovin-artist-sweetheart]
xoxo!